Here’s a phrase that’ll help you make some new Argentine friends: Andate a la concha de tu madre.

Now, before you go and shout this into the streets, just know that 1) we were being sarcastic about using this phrase to make friends, and 2) this is actually a very, very crude thing to say, so be careful where you use it. However, you can never know too many insults, so here’s another to add to the book.

Literally, andate a la concha de tu madre means go to your mother’s vagina (or a variety of other crude terms that mean the same thing, but for sake of being remotely PC, we’ll stick to ‘vagina‘). Now, you can probably imagine a circumstance or two in which this would appropriate, but hopefully that circumstance comes only once in a blue moon. How about we break the phrase down a bit.

Andate comes from the verb andar, which means to walk- it’s not as commonly used as caminar, but you’ll definitely hear it every so often in conversation. The te at the end is referring to the person you are talking to (so when you say it, it is in the form of tú or vos). In this case, it is put into imperative form, which is the form used for commands, which is why it is andate instead of vos andás. Essentially, you are commanding or urging the person to go to their mom’s vagina.

Now, if you’re thinking -Wow, in Spanish they use the same word for vagina as they do for fields,’ you are just a little mistaken. COncha is the word for vagina, and cAncha is the word for field. One letter makes a very, very big difference, so be careful with this one. Although, when at the cancha (de fútbol), it is not unusual to hear people say (or yell) ‘concha’. In some other Spanish-speaking nations, concha isn’t even a bad word-in fact, in some places it is the word used for a shell (in English, it’s called a conch shell) and in Mexico it is a type of sweet bread. But we can pretty much guarantee if you say this phrase to anyone in the Spanish-speaking world, you’re not going to get a very friendly response.

David talks to a Concha

Check out Episode 26 for Jimena’s and David’s conversation about conchas! Don’t have Class 26? You can get it on iTunes for $2.99 here: http://bit.ly/iPhoneLearnSpanish

Don't want to insult this fellow...

WARNING: NSFW MATERIAL AHEAD.

A quick note before you continue: if you are easily offended or do not like foul language, don’t bother reading on.  Bueno, entonces… sees learning a language as something that should be fun, entertaining, and useful.  This means that we are willing to teach you things that you might hear on the street, but wouldn’t read in a text book.  If you don’t like our method of teaching, it’s probably best you go learn language from a more formal program like Rosetta Stone.

Okay, onto today’s lesson!

Surely you’ve noticed that we tend to focus on Argentine lunfardo (slang), piropos (pick-up lines), and insultos (insults).  Well, if you 1) don’t plan on going to Argentina anytime soon, 2) are interested in the slang of other countries, or 3) don’t really give a crap either way, today’s your lucky day!  We are going to teach you some of our favorite insultos and slang from various Spanish-speaking countries, so here it goes!

Chupame el pico (Chile) = Suck my dick

Dejí¡te de gí¼ear (Chile) = Stop f*cking around

Malparido (Colombia) = Waste of life (badly born)

Jalame el hule (Costa Rica) = Leave me alone (pull my rubber)

Malfallao (Spain) = Tightass (poorly f*cked)

Araña (Mexico) = Hoochie Mama (spider)

Lameculos (Spain) = Brown-noser (ass-licker)

Hijo de la Verga (Mexico) = Son of a Cock

Alright, so this obviously doesn’t cover all the countries, nor all the necessary phrases, but it at least gives you a bit of a base.  

If you want to see the whole lot of slang, sign up for our newest, rudest, realest Free Slang Dictionary at http://f.generallinguistics.com/free-spanish-slang-dictionary/

Isn’t this a good way to learn Spanish?  1) fun, 2) entertaining, and 3) useful.  What more could you want?  

PLUS, you’re way more likely to remember and use this stuff than, say, a worksheet of formal conjugations.  If you want to learn more about the Bueno, entonces… program, check out our language learning software website!http://www.generallinguistics.com  

We offer over 18 hours of classes that are available on DVD or as a download for your computer, iPod, or iPhone.  And you can get the whole series for as low as $147 – if you’re a Facebook Fan, you get it for $97 (and you’ll learn tons of useful Spanish phrases while you’re at it)!

Here’s a phrase that’ll help you (not) make some new Argentine friends: Andate a la c*ncha de tu madre.

Now, before you go and shout this into the streets, just know that 1) we were being sarcastic about using this phrase to make friends, and 2) this is actually a very, very crude thing to say, so be careful where you use it. However, you can never know too many insults, so here’s another to add to the book.

Literally, andate a la c*ncha de tu madre means go to your mother’s vagina (or a variety of other crude terms that mean the same thing, but for sake of being remotely PC, we’ll stick to ‘vagina‘). Now, you can probably imagine a circumstance or two in which this would appropriate, but hopefully that circumstance comes only once in a blue moon. How about we break the phrase down a bit.

Andí¡te comes from the verb andar, which means to walk—it’s not as commonly used as caminar, but you’ll definitely hear it every so often in conversation. The te at the end is referring to the person you are talking to (so when you say it, it is in the form of tú or vos). In this case, it is put into imperative form, which is the form used for commands, which is why it is andate instead of vos andí¡s. Essentially, you are commanding or urging the person to go to their mom’s vagina.

Now, if you know know a little Spanish, you’re probably thinking ‘Wow, they use the same word for vagina as they do for fields,’. Actually, COncha is the word for vagina, and cAncha is the word for field. One letter makes a very, very big difference, so be careful with this one. Although, when at the cancha (de fútbol), it is not unusual to hear people say (or yell) ‘concha’. In some other Spanish-speaking nations, concha isn’t even a bad word—in fact, in some places it is the word used for a shell (in English, it’s called a conch shell) and in Mexico it is a type of sweet bread. But we can pretty much guarantee if you say this phrase to anyone in the Spanish-speaking world, you’re not going to get a very friendly response.

Check out Episode 26 of Bueno, entonces…Learn Spanish for Jimena’s and David’s conversation about c*nchas!

If you’re not offended by c*nchas and the Kama Sutra, check out our learn Spanish Facebook Page and learn Spanish online! Check out our other blog entries to learn more Spanish grammar and useful Spanish learning tips.

Our first bit has to do with the language, er, sort of language spoken amongst Spanish adolescents. Let’s just say there’s a reason why we often teach insultos along with Spanish phrases on our Facebook page.

From our experience, the severity of insultos or malas palabras here in the Southern Cone is not the same as it is back home. For example, it isn’t too rare for an old woman to scream “hijo de p*ta!” which literally means “son of a b*tch!”. Back home, that’d be a little…out of the ordinary, right? It’s good to know what’s going on–not necessarily to recreate it, but to see how different Spanish can be, linguistically and culturally.

We’d recommend staying away from the insultos until you have some friends that understand/can deal with  you. These words can definitely be taken the wrong way, and no one wants to be the Gringo with a broken nose.

In our language learning software program we’re careful to show you what is acceptable and what’s not. We don’t teach you to speak like a history book nor do we teach you to speak like a teenage boy (which is what one sounds like when they learn in a more informal setting). Because the program was created by both English speakers and Spanish speakers that have lived abroad, questions that pop up in your head are magically answered in the episodes. Pretty cool, right? Check our some more clips of our Spanish classes on our Youtube Page!

The clip above is from Diego Maradona’s press conference following Argentina’s Wednesday night victory against Uruguay, a match that qualified his team for the 2010 World Cup. He speaks in a very derogatory way towards the media, so don’t use this Spanish!

According to Guardian,

After Wednesday night’s 1-0 victory away to Uruguay secured Argentina’s passage to South Africa next year, an emotional Maradona unleashed an expletive-laden attack against assembled reporters and his critics.

“The reports we have received so far leave us no other alternative but to ask the disciplinary committee of Fifa to open a case against the coach Diego Armando Maradona,” said Blatter.

Maradona has been the subject of much criticism in Argentina following the team’s struggle to qualify for the World Cup. Although victory in Uruguay offered him the final say, Maradona still emerged in a vindicative mood. “You lot take it up the arse – if the ladies will pardon the expression,” began his outburst.

The coach went on to dedicate the win to the fans back home, his two daughters, Dalma and Giannina, and his squad, before continuing his rant.

“But certain people who have not supported me, and you know who you are, can keep sucking,” he said.

Maradona then grabbed his genitals with both hands, signalling some sort of insult to the TV cameras in the tunnel outside the dressing room.