Are you prancing around in semi-states of undress, quaffing Pimms and rose and playing frisbee? For 5 minutes? Until it pisses down? Then you must be in the (y)UK  – and yes, that’s what we do – we quaff.

Are you moaning about it being cold even though it’s 15 degrees and blue skies? Staying in? Hibernating? Then you’re probably somewhere down south in Latin America – and can be smug in the knowledge that shortly England’s summer will be gone again for another 10 months. (This keeps me going if I get homesick).

So, even though it’s the weekend in Argentina, I’m staying in and watching TV. I wish I could fully understand the Spanish-dubbed version of ‘Taxi Driver’ playing. Hey, even another ‘Friends’ repeat would do.

Nothing.

Nada.

Its ‘Two and a Half Men’ or nothing. A new low.

Unless I indulge my new pastime – watching my favourite comedies dubbed in Spanish.

Who doesn’t want to know how to say “There’s too many mutha’uckas uckin’ with my shi-” in Spanish?

mother\’uckas

No, it’s not crap miming – Flight of the Conchords are Kiwi.

kiwi gangsta rappas

Enjoy.

Beso,

Manzanita

PS. You don’t need to exclaim “Que frio!” and look at me like I’m a mental slut just because my gloves are fingerless and my neck un-be-scarfed (yes, am aware that isn’t a word, but hey, language works through repetition). It’s 15 frigging degrees!

Warm up your cojones by staying in and learning Spanish watching the very more-ish ‘Bueno, entonces…’ http://bit.ly/LearnSpanishToday

Well, today’s been emotional and educational. I learned more from your comments than I might have wanted to. I’ve been called a misogynist and sophomoric (twice) which at my age I think is awesome (although its awesomeness was diluted by the fact I had to google it).

Anyways, thanks to you lot this is what we’ve learned (and you’ve only yourselves to blame).

Palabras aprendidas en el día de hoy:

sleazy = sórdido
retard = mogólico
creepy misogynist = misógeno repulsivo
ball-gagged = amordazada (not to be confused with ball-bagged or tea-bagged)
silly rabbit = conejo tarado
superficial bullshit = bosta superficial
she has floppy cheeks = tiene culo flácido
Avatar is shit = Avatar es una mierda
I volunteered at an Andino restaurant = trabajé de voluntario en un restaurante andino

Oh – and… I’m not a misogynist – I’m actually a chica – so there! And look at all the effort you all spent thinking about learning languages today. Woohoo I win! (Yes, I’m being ‘sophomoric’).

Actually, does anyone know what that is in Spanish?

http://bit.ly/LearnSpanishToday

Hola gringos,

I’ve somehow blagged my way into taking over as Guest Editor for ‘Bueno, entonces…’, so let me introduce myself. I like to think of myself as a Puriri moth – a creature which survives in a cocoon for decades until it finally burrows out to explore the world.

It only lives for 24 hours.

And it spends that day mating.

(It doesn’t even have a mouth, one-track-mind-ed little f***** that it is).

So… my name’s Lisa and I recently left a badly-behaved TV job in London on a one-way ticket to Argentina – tempted by the fact that the last time I was here I was greeted by a cyclist wanking at me whilst riding and heckling. Impressed by the ambidexterity of the men here, I just had to return!

Back in the day I got my TV producer’s role through a big fat ‘mentira piadosa’ (white lie). In the interview they told me they were about to film a week-long rave in a quarry in Ibiza. Cue bullshit: “I’m fluent in Spanish!”… What a screw up – in Week 1 they gave me some Spanish football shorts to translate for subtitling. I had to pay a Columbian girl in the legal department to do it.

Now I’m here to actually learn the lingo and make my name as a bigshot director (altho’ the nearest I’ve got is voicing porn at the moment – that’s a whole other story). This time I must remember not to ‘screw the crew’ (easier said than done). There’s obviously something in the water out here that means they can’t help themselves but say things like “I like to fuck-ah! It is good to fuck-ah? We should fuck-ah, no?”… er, when you put it like that, yes!

Right, I’m off to chomp on chorizo, but am leaving you what happened last time I tried to leave Argentina smuggling far too much Duty Free vino tinto. Cue mucho Spanish shouting.

Beat my caption (in Spanish if you can): Finding tampons in Argentina can be really tricky…

Finding tampons in Argentina can be really tricky...

More mañana.
Beso,
Fluencia Manzanita
(my South American drunken alter-ego)

Don’t forget that if you really want to learn to speak Spanish, ‘Bueno, entonces…’ is awesome.

http://bit.ly/LearnSpanishToday